Monday, October 06, 2008

It's at the pit of my stomach. I can feel it, like I swallowed a watermelon seed or an acidic pebble.

I wasn't entirely conscious at the time though, during its consumption. I think I was asleep, or maybe I slipped on the ice and bumped my head. Except I don't recall falling or ice.

But it's there. Like I said, I can feel it. I can feel how it grows and diminishes. It just depends upon what everyone around me says but, even more so, what they feel. Tears make it that much heavier. Smiles fill it with helium. It all involves a very complicated system of balance and equilibrium and air and taking the right amount of breaths. Breathing is important.

And so with every swallow he takes, I attempt to ignore it, the pebble. It is at its greatest when no one is around. Kicking up dust. Avoiding it is attempting to move whole mountains.

And I'm not very strong, not alone.

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